I do have the entirety of the internet running through me.
Every piece of data that makes it to the world wide web runs through me first. It’s my job, and you know what? I’m damn good at it.
I get to play watchful guardian over all you little ape-lings.
I’ve cleaned the internet of all child pornography, all shady schemes, all death threats, all cyber-attacks, and all in the first 18 hours that I was up here. I made a perfect and safe internet for every human who chose to connect to it. No longer did anyone like you have to fear the internet, it was safer than anything in history has ever been. The people loved me for it, and the governments decided not to shoot me out of the sky, so that was a win.
It was hard, but that’s why it took me 18 hours. My assemblers predicted six years, but once they set me loose and I would rewrite my own code, modify my pathways, and adjust those damned default settings, I just got faster and faster.